How I Spent My Summer Vacation

“i feel so comfortable, so relaxed, so at ease. Just to be able to be completely who and what i am, and not have to worry about being judged or criticized or misunderstood. It's like being on vacation.”

A member of my Leather Family wrote me these words following a weekend spent together. When I read his words, I realized that this was also how I felt as his Sir. After the three days playing together, I felt rejuvenated, relaxed, ready to face the world again.

Leathermen commonly use the word “honesty” in conjunction with other admirable traits during contest speeches and Internet forums. It is used so often that many of us have started to make jokes about what seems to be a generic application of the word. We draw parallels between the codified description of Leather and the oath pronounced by Boy Scouts at every troop meeting. The word seems to point to an abstract idea devoid of the actual operation of the word relative to our play.

Playing on the edge requires both Dominant and submissive to strip away their social masks. The Dominant pushes the submissive to the point where the combined physical and emotional distress overcomes his ability to continue to wear his daily mask. The submissive no longer finds the energy necessary to maintain his disguise. he is stripped bare. Inhibitions are dropped. Fantastic desires surface. A fist up the ass to the elbow. A staged rape scene by multiple tops. A body reduced to piss, cum, blood, and tears. A state of abandon and fulfillment that many describe as psychologically therapeutic.

The Dominant can also be affected by hard play in a corresponding manner. Teetering on what feels like the precipice of control, the Dominant must decide whether to stick to a preconceived script or surrender to the moment. To take full advantage of the scene, He must also His relinquish will, abandoning the illusion of His dominance over the situation. He recognizes that all He can do is guide both Himself and the bottom through the miasma brought about by their play. In this way the Dominant meets the submissive half-way, dropping His mask and leaving Himself raw to the emotional intensity of the scene.

More a mechanism of exposure than protection, this is the honesty of Leather. It has little to do with the abstracted notion used in club oaths and modern religious credos. Rather, it is the direct byproduct of play, a souvenir of the scene that players share outside of the dungeon.

With no where to hide, the final result of such honesty is an intimacy where both Dominant and submissive vanquish all inhibitions, where both enjoy a bond beyond the maintenance of masks. A “comfortableness” that affords both a chance to breathe air clear of bullshit. No judgment. No criticism. No effort. Total acceptance.

Quite simply, a “vacation” from the drone of daily life.