Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Friday, July 4, 2014
In the last few years I lost both of my parents, my thirteen year relationship, my Seattle home, and a number of submissive men who looked to me as their SIR and MASTER. I lost the respect of many men in the Community through my efforts to be honest with myself and others. I have angered others who feel that I have not continued to be as active in titles and events.
Rather than being defined by my what I no longer have, I feel defined by what I have found since the summer of 2012. I found a new appreciation for men who have demonstrated true brotherhood, my chosen family, outstanding Leathermen who have supported me in times of weakness and rejoiced with me during times of strength. I have felt the continued support of friends. Most important, I also found the love of my life, my perfect boy, my compliment, my husband. I am now a legally married SIR. I prepare to emigrate to Canada to be with my new husband and to begin a new life there. I investigate academic options that will enable me to build on my professional life in the United States. I feel as if I am just beginning to realize my potential in life.
Even though I attend fewer events I am more Leather than ever. Together with my handsome husband I play more and feel more liberated by the power dynamics of our relationship.
I am almost 59 years old, proud to live in accordance with the core values that I learned decades ago. I am a Gay Leatherman.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
I walk to the cafe and order my own coffee. I then sit down and instinctively look up to grant property the permission to sit beside me. A habitual act. I sit and drink my coffee alone.
I go to the restroom and pull out my cock, aiming my warm stream into the white, porcelain bowl. I think of the willing mouth of my property always ready to nurse out my piss until I have finished. I shake off the last drops, return my cock to my 501s, and button up my jeans. property is not there to serve as my valet and fasten up my clothing.
For the ensuing weeks I will do for myself what he usually does for me. Each simple action will remind me of the physical bond with my property, of its service when I wake, wash, eat, dress, urinate, walk, and cum. My body will feel incomplete without my property beside me. The bond between MASTER and property now realized through an awareness of absence.
Ownership of another creates an apparent paradox. Over time, my body as MASTER has redefined itself according to the service provided by the property. No longer can I as MASTER experience true independence in action. Without property beside me, I must do for myself what my property would do for me.
As participants in BDSM, we recognize the strong connection between our bodies and our identities. We define our roles by actions during play. Essentially, our movements or lack thereof establish identities that we feebly attempt to define by words. Without such action, roles do not exist. The dance of trust requires a minimum of two participants.
Given this, we must immediately dismiss the notion that a man can be a MASTER without a slave. One is defined by the other. It is not an abstract like a tenet of faith, a personal conviction, or a mysterious rapture felt in the bosom. Rather, both the MASTER and the slave carve out their identities based on physical interactions with each other. The MASTER understands this when the slave no longer is present. He must now do for himself what the slave usually does. Every physical need becomes a reminder of the slave.
Thus, the idea of independence as an attribute of strength is absurd when considered within the power dynamic of BDSM. Standing alone, the MASTER realizes that he is not Superman, Nietzsche's conceptual higher being beyond duality. Without his slave, the MASTER realizes that he is very much connected to the worm of the body which the slave addresses through diligent service.